Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
