You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize