Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I think people are normalizing furries
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
