The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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