We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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