i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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