Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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