what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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