life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need moral support for this bender
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
