Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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