are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize