Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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