just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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