Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize