She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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