he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
