she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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