woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
