The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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