Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
