We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Enjoy the penises
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
