I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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