Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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