Sry I called you an 8
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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