how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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