Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
