Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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