yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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