She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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