Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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