I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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