dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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