He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
