I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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