At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
