Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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