Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
