found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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