You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
