I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize