so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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