we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
