There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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