just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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