he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
