Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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