im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
