It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize