I wannas sexs uuuuu
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
