i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
