Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
