Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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