is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Let's paint friendship bongs
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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