Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
