Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
