Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
