so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
