Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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