Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize