have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
