Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You took a bar mat shot.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
