i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize