ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
