He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
