Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
